BUSH DECLAIRS MARITAL LAW

In his boldest initiative to date, President Bush has announced he is taking steps to help further prevent the erosion of the American family.
“I am declaring Marital Law as of this moment. All single people over the age of 18… 16 in Kentucky… have 72 hours to register with their local church. Matches will be made at random if you do not have your own choice already made. And none of this girl-girl, boy-boy shenanigans! To aid in this effort, pastors, preachers, and rabbis… (Bush suppressed a chuckle at this point. He muttered, “Better not go for the joke here.”

… will be patrolling the streets.
“We will find the singles where they hide. We will hunt them at the Motel 8s; we will hunt them in the mountain cabins- especially up there in them Poconos. We will spread married life through this land. We will lead by example. (Bush whispers to McCain, “You might want to steer clear of this one, John.)
“And I am sure, within a very short time, I will be able to declare, ‘Missionary Accomplished!’”
After the announcement, President and Mrs. Bush then stood in front of the portrait of Ronald Reagan for a photo-op.

MAL 4-1-08